No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man. - Heraclitus of Ephesus (535-475BC)

Floating Markets

It all started so early! It was over 100 km to the Floating Markets and our guide had arranged for an early pickup. So early that Lidy and I were the only partakers of breakfast in the rooftop dining room. All other residents of the hotel were still (wisely) in the land of nod!

Can I have another coffee... Please?

Soon, our car arrived and we were on our way. We settled back to enjoy the ride through Bangkok's notorious early morning traffic. Eventually we found ourselves on highway 35, traveling against the flow of the hoards of commuters.

The road to nowhere

Lidy was enjoying the ride. This was to be her first trip outside of Bangkok and she was eager to see the countryside. Not only that, but we were going in style. We had our own private guide, our own private driver and were being chauffeured in a BENZ! Princess style! Wot!

I always believed I should be treated like this

Further out, into the countryside, we went and left the remains of the city behind us. As we traveled further, the sun rose higher and the heat of the day increased. Of course, as you would expect our 'Benz had excellent airconditioning.

Another road, another white line, Where are we?

Quicker than we could get our cameras out of our bags, we were there. So were three coaches full of tourists. Our private guide had planned ahead. At the landing stage, three boatmen cordoned off the tourists and shouted "Not your boat, not your boat..." at them while beckoning us to the boat at the front of the queue of longtailed boats. The tourists looked on, and a few snapped photo's of the two important dignitaries who had just arrived by 'Benz and were being conducted to the front of the queue so, as nonchalantly as we could, we walked slowly, trying to looking understatedly important and boarded the first craft.

Boarding these things isn't all that easy

Our boatman started the engine and began to maneuver the craft away from the confusion of boats and into clear water. Once there, he gave it 'the gun' and to the excitement of Lidy, as we pulled away, we started to aquaplane.

Our boatman gave it "the gun" and we were off!

There seemed to be many canals that we traveled through and some of them were just wide enough to allow two longtailed boats to pass - just.

The canals are so narrow you wonder if two boats could fit side by side

These canals wind out through the countryside and as we shot past, we could see many aspects of day to day life being played out before our eyes.

Past the white Buddha

At every opportunity, our boatman would wind the big V8 motor up and we would take off. Lidy would get so excited she would let out a loud "Whooooop!!!" The enjoyment was written all over her face.

Lidy just loves it when we go FAST!

The 'taxi-bikes' can travel along the narrow wooden jetties that serve as a footpath and road outside the canal people's homes.

Taxi bike plying his trade along the narrow jettys

At long last, we started to notice some floating stalls and shops. At this time our boatman shut the big V8 down to a burbling idle and we crept forward so as not to scuttle the vendors with our wash.

Coming into the market area

Then it was around the next bend and all of a sudden we were in the thick of the floating market. Because we had left so early and had the first and fastest boat, we were among the first to arrive and the scene that greeted us was relaxed and friendly with most of the shoppers being local Thais essentially shopping for food.

The floating market early morning

Getting out of our craft, we tipped the boatman and set out to regain our land legs. Our private guide said his farewalls for the time being: "You can shop and walk around for two hours. I will drink coffee at the coffee shop." Lidy had already switched to shopping mode and disappeared into the nearest clothing store. Russell was looking for a Thai Saw U that he was determined to bring back and learn how to play.

Confusion reigns as the landlubbers breakfast before starting their day

Lidy found the toilets and was confronted by a cheerful woman who would sell her two tissues of toilet paper for about fifteen cents Australian.

Peace - and will that be two tissues with your toilet?

Then the tourists arrived. All of a sudden it was congestion and chaos. Hand paddled boats jockeyed for position with motorised longboats, the stall holders called out their wares in a peculiar mixture of Thai and broken English and the whole market erupted into a cacophony of sight and sounds.

Oh no. The bloody tourists have arrived

At the other end of the market, Russell had decided to hire his own boat and was busy negotiating a fair price.

No, that's too much. How about dropping 5 Baht?

The price negotiated, Russell and Lidy set off in search of the Saw U. Unfortunately, the boat Russell had hired was facing the opposite direction to where he had been told the Saw U seller was located. This necessitated us taking a precarious trip past the hoards of bartering, frenzied tourists until we got to some clear water where the boat could be turned around.

I should always be treated like this...

At each stall, the boatman would paddle us in close so that the stall holder could harangue us with her spiel in Thai and broken English.

The stall holders sit cross-legged on their small craft for hours at a time

On the way back through the thronging mass of tourists, we got stuck in a traffic jam. Nothing moved until the tourists in the boat five ahead of us had purchased some artifact or other.

"Ram them, Mr Maryk..."

Not satisfied with progress, Russell assumed the captaincy. "Pull to port..." "Come around ten degrees, port..." "Steady as she goes..." "Ahoy there: Turn to Starboard, this vessel has right-of-way!"

The market hots-up into a buying frenzy

Eventually, we arrived at the Saw U stall and Russell started the negotiations. The bartering went on for fifteen minutes. At one stage, Russell exclaimed: "Your price is too high. You must come down or I will buy elsewhere..." The vendor retorted: "I have only Saw U stall in whole market!" Russell looked at our boatman. He nodded with a wry smile and shrugged at Russell.

"I have only Saw U in whole market!

The negotiations continued in a mixture of broken Thai and broken English with, at one stage Russell and the vendor exchanging a piece of paper with the negotiated figures written on it so as to overcome the language barrier. Thankfully, they came to a price they could both agree upon and to the excitement of both Lidy and our boatman, the deal was concluded.

Got it!

A a quick tune-up and a final test tune and Russell has his instrument. Now, only one potential problem remains. Can Russell get it past Australia's strict quarantine laws?

And this is how you tune it...