And thou shalt have goats' milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and for the maintenance for thy maidens - Book of Proverbs

Noooooooooooooooooo, was the cry as I was dragged kicking and screaming to the 'taxi-bus'. Lidy had decided to attend a "Thai Cooking School" and I was to accompany her.

Now as a man of few culinary skills (save the eating of the fruits), I was afraid that should I actually learn something I would be press-ganged into servitude for ever more in the kitchen.

The wild 'taxi-bus' ride through the streets of Chiang-Mai, picking up other participants (a couple of cute Swedish girls who thought it was a smorgasbord school) delivered us (thankfully in one piece) to the main marketplace - Not a sight nor a smell that should be beholden by sensitive western eyes or noses.


It turned out that because it is mid-week, there are only four participants in the Cooking School and as a group we were warned by the guide that many 'foreigners' had been sick when visiting the markets and he advised that should we feel poorly, we should step out into the "fresh air". I tried to step out into the "fresh air" just to give my nose a break, but the smells of the market prevailed for more than fifty metres. I didn't want to lose contact with the group, so returned before discovering the extent.


A tour of the markets followed with an informative description of the herbs and vegetables used in Thai cooking (after each one the guide would invariably say something like: "...this herb, you will not have in your country; so use ketchup instead...")

After the market tour, we again boarded the 'taxi-bus' (four 'foreigners' in the back with only a canvas cover, guide in the front cab with airconditioning.) We took off at a great pace for the Cooking School which we now learned was some twenty minutes out of the city in the countryside.


Down winding alleyways, through three laned streets (carrying six lanes of traffic - white lines are optional in Chiang-Mai as are double lines!) Then, suddenly onto the main highway and at a great pace with the wind blowing in our hair until we turned off into a country lane. Along the dirt road (with much dust in the back for the 'foreigners') around some corners and into an up-market housing estate. We stopped in front of a house with a Cooking School classroom built onto the front. Very well done, and professional looking. Clean to a fault!

School room

We went inside and discovered our classroom where there were twenty five stoves integrated into twenty five stainless steel workstations. I started to feel good about this.

Then, on with the cooking. We each prepared and cooked:

• Tom-Yum-Goong Soup
• Pandang Curry
• Stir Fry with egg
• Sticky Rice pudding with Mango

School is in

The Master

The Apprentice

After completing the cooking, we were forced to eat what we had cooked. Surprisingly, it tasted like genuine Thai fare.

At the end of the class, the head chef who conducted the course, declared Lidy to be "Best Student" and Russell was declared "Master Chef". For those of you in the know, that now makes me both a "Master Chef" AND a Barrista! WATCH OUT!!!!

Elvis has left the building (but only until he comes back)

I hinted at this story a couple of days ago...

It is best recalled through the haze that accompanies one (or two) too many Singha beers (wonderful,wonderful, wonderful Thai beer...)

I had entered the lobby of our hotel and was greeted by strains of music that seemed to strike a familiar note. Yes, it was "Only the Lonely"... A fine old Elvis song, and being belted out as only "The King" could do. It must be a CD, I thought, walking toward the bar.

Suddenly, my eyes caught sight of the band and; headlining it, none other than "The King" himself!!!


Then followed a selection of old favourites: Blue Suede Shoes, Don't be Cruel, Hound dog, It's Now or Never, Are you Lonesome Tonight, and many more.

I was spellbound, so I ordered a Mia Tai and settled in to the clapping, cheering audience and general ambiance.

I had not noticed at the time but, during the break, Roy Orbison emerged from behind the drums (yes, he can drum now!) Roy sang Crying and Pretty Woman to bring the audience to their knees.

I tried to speak to Elvis and Roy, but it would appear they can only sing in English, not speak it; so I was content to buy them and their band a round of Singha's...

Never trust a taxi driver who doesn't speak English!

Have you ever taken a taxi where you thought when getting in: "I'm not sure about this?"

Such began our afternoon. We were trying to get to Wawee Coffee House where they have unlimited Internet. So there we were loaded with two computers, bags and accessories. I was to organise the taxi so I thought: Easy, follow Russell and ask: "Do you speak English?" When the taxi driver's offsider ansered for him, I should have known. That is when we should have walked away. But no.

We told him we wanted to go to Wawee Coffee in "Walking Street" and also many location hints such as: "Three Kings Monument", "Walking Street", to no avail. He kept saying: "Noooooo, Working Steat only Suhday. No Working Steat Today; You go to nice Thai Massartch, very goot, nice ladies..." Much banter along the way he couldn't understand anyway.

I'm sure we went around the city two times, so when he eventually delivered us at the right spot we gave him a round of applause. We thought we would never get there.....

I've found that all the Thai men are charming and as I left the cab he told me he was also a tailor and handed me his card. A very smart cabbie after all.

Needless to say, we arrived at Wawee in time for this blogging session.