The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. - Nicholas Sparks

Goodbye Bangkok town

Goodbye Bangkok town, Bangkok town, goodbye,
We'll be leaving you today, for a country far away,
Though today we're stoney broke, without a single crown,
If we make a fortune, we'll come back and spend it in good old Bangkok town.

Sung to the tune: "Goodbye Melbourne Town" by Fred Hall
Apologies to Leonard Nelson

Suvarnabhumi Airport (Bangkok) 5:20 AM

It was early morning. We had been picked up in our 'Benz (of course) at 5:00 AM (groan) and had been spirited in the early morning gloom to Suvarnabhumi Airport. On the way, our guide remarked: "I think you have problem..." "Eh?" said Russell. "You have too much luggage." said our guide matter-of-factly. "Oh that? She'll be 'right" said Russell.

In fact, Lidy and Russell had nearly 100 Kilograms in excess baggage (actually 92 kilograms) between them and, they were worried. The night before, they had packed and re-packed their luggage, attempting to distribute the weight evenly between the bags. When they had arrived in Thailand, they had had two bags and two computer bags. Now, they had:

• Two large suitcases;
  
• Two backpacks;
  
• Two computer bags;
  
• One makeup bag;
  
• One small suitcase;
  
• One meduim carry bag;
• A handbag;
  
• A Saw U instrument;
  
• And a few plastic bags containing souveniers.
  

As it turned out, there was no need for concern. Thai Airways took the excess baggage in their stride and issued us with boarding passes. Lidy requested the airline take her off the vegetarian food list but , as it turned out, that would be difficult because the food had already been loaded.

Check-in at Suvarnabhumi Airport

Once we had passed through Immigration and security, and we were inside the airport, Lidy decided that she wouldn't be able to eat any more vegetarian food because it was always the same. She searched the airport for some sticky buns to take on the flight.

Do you have any sticky buns?

Lidy got her provisions and as we had not eaten since last night and had some spare time, we decided to have breakfast. We walked around the airport checking out the fare at several cafe's. At last we settled on a little concourse cafe and settled down to a breakfast salad each.

Airport police on tricycles need to consult airport maps to get around

Finally, it was time to get going to our departure gate. As we walked through the airport, we were struck by a performance taking place on a small stage somewhere in the middle of the airport. Beautiful Thai dancing featuring a dancer dressed as the Hindu god Garuda. Garuda is the king of the birds and often acts as a messenger between the gods and men. He has the head, wings, talons and beak of an eagle and the body and limbs of a man.

The dancers perform a farewell dance for Lidy and Russell

It occurred to us that at each destination of our holiday, we had had a lovely send-off and it appeared that this was to be our send-off from Bangkok and Thailand. We stood and watched as the dance progressed; artistic, stylish and beautiful. The dancers danced and we stood and watched. As we watched, so many wonderful memories washed over us and we were both touched by the moment.

At the end of the dance, Garuda indicates the way to the departure lounge

Once the dance had finished, we moved on to the boarding gate to complete boarding formalities. This turned out to be a simple procedure and it wasn't long before we were seated on our wonderful Thai Airways 'plane and then, before we knew it we were up in the air and winging our way back home.

At last, we fly off to return to Oz

And as quickly as Dorothy, in what seemed like two quick heel clicks, we were transported effortlessly back to OZ.

There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Sunday Evening at Baiyoke Suite

Our last night in Bangkok; and our last night in Thailand. We had been packing for most of the day and were too tired to face the multitudes and fight our way through the streets to a restaurant.

"Why don't we just get room service" said Lidy. "I know," said Russell, "Let's have dinner downstairs at the little cafe near reception?" "That sounds nice." said Lidy.

We left room number 365 and pressed the button to summon the lift. Alighting on the lobby level, we entered the little cafe. Looking around, we noticed we were the only guests.

The two women in the cafe conducted us to a table and left us to consider the menu.

Why is it that whenever one does not have a camera to hand, the most extraordinary things occur?

We ordered our food and settled down with our drinks. You should be able to fill in the blanks by now, Russell had a M _ _ - T _ _ and Lidy had a P _ _ _ C _ _ _ _ _ .

Soon, our entrees arrived. We were only just starting to eat when a crooner, with his guitar slung over his shoulder entered the cafe. We were still the only guests in the cafe, so he came over to our table and started up a conversation. His name was Bill and he asked us where we were from and the usual about where we had been and how we had enjoyed our holiday; and then, he picked up his guitar and said: "I'd like to sing you a song." With that, he launched into one ballad after another, with Lidy and Russell joining in to sing many old favourites. He played our requests and sang a love song duet with Russell to Lidy.

This night was turning out to be very special indeed. But, after about half an hour, our crooner announced he had to leave. He had to go home to his wife and children. He was an immigrant, originally from the Philippines, who had married a Thai girl and settled in Bangkok.

As Bill was leaving, he introduced a young lady to us who had under her arm a violin case. She was formally dressed in a long gown. She couldn't speak much English, but she was an excellent musician. She stood by our table for another half hour while we completed our dinner and brought tears to our eyes with her wonderful violin solo's.

We were touched and pleasantly surprised. What had been intended as a quick meal and early night had become a party with a life of its own and we will have many pleasant memories of this night for years to come.

All good things must come to an end, and so it was this night. We finished dinner, had a couple of Napoleons, coffee; said goodnight to our violin player and our waitresses and headed for the lift, back to the 36th floor and reality.

We leave this magical Thailand tomorrow morning. Now, we DO KNOW how a condemned man feels the night before his execution.

In Excelsis at Bye-yoke-a-sa-car

Saturday night dinner at Bye-yoke-a-sa-car (Bayoke Sky) Hotel

Bye-yoke-a-sa-car (Bayoke Sky) Hotel as the Thais pronounce it is the tallest man-made structure in Thailand. Rising 88-storeys above Bangkok’s skyline, it is Bangkok’s most scenic hotel.

The hotel is strategically located in the heart of downtown Bangkok, surrounded by bustling markets and various entertainment attractions. The building is 309 metres high or about the same size as 182 people standing on each others shoulders.

The Baiyoke Sky can be seen from anywhere in Bangkok

It was Saturday night and we were due to fly out the following Monday so we decided we would get a last good look at Bangkok from the highest vantage point available. The Baiyoke Sky Hotel. They also have a legendary buffet dinner. The highest in Bangkok!

It's important to get a souvenier snapshot in the lobby

We were pleasantly surprised when the cashier told us we would get a 750 Baht discount because we were staying at the Baiyoke Sky Hotel's sister hotel, Baiyoke Suite.

Wot! A discount!

Part of the fun of dining at the top of the Baiyoke Sky is finding a lift to carry us up the 88 floors. There are plenty of lifts in the lobby, going everywhere else but to the top floor. After some initial confusion where at one stage Lidy was almost on her way to the car park, we found the correct lift.

Lidy has the tickets and she is hungry. Watch out!

The view from the top floor is astounding. At night, Bangkok is a sea of lights and in such a busy city, there seems to be cars and people on every street and footpath going hither and thither like so many ants.

Look, up in the sky, is it a bird? Yep. It's Lidy!

You don't want to be suffering from vertigo when you look down out of the full length windows.

The view of Bangkok's fairyland lights

Out the opposite window, more jewels twinkling in the night

The meal was first class and although the style was buffet, there were chef's at every table serving the foods of which there was a style to suit any taste. Thai, of course, Japanese, Western, Kosher, Halal and Chinese were only some I recognised. Table service consisted of plate removal and the bar service was unobtrusive and professional. A wonderful place to eat and enjoy the view.

Sir? Are you sure you want a Singha with your Mai-Tai?

After dinner, we repaired to the eleventh floor cafe, where a pianist was providing beautiful background music, for a Napoleon XO or two, with coffee - of course.

Chin-chin

สงกรานต์

สงกรานต์ (SONGKRAN)

The Thai New Year (Thai: สงกรานต์ Songkran) is celebrated every year on 13th to 15th April.

The most obvious celebration of Songkran is the throwing of water. People roam the streets with containers of water or water guns, or post themselves at the side of roads with a garden hose and drench each other and passersby. This, however, was not always the main activity of this festival. Songkran was traditionally a time to visit and pay respects to elders, including family members, friends and neighbors.

Besides the throwing of water, people celebrating Songkran may also go to a Wat (Buddhist monastery) to pray and give food to monks. They may also cleanse Buddha images from household shrines as well as Buddha images at monasteries by gently pouring water mixed with a Thai fragrance (น้ำอบไทย) over them. It is believed that doing this will bring good luck and prosperity for the New Year.

In many cities, such as Chiang-Mai, the Buddha images from all of the city's important monasteries are paraded through the streets so that people can toss water at them, ritually 'bathing' the images, as they pass by on ornately decorated floats.

In northern Thailand, people may carry handfuls of sand to their neighborhood monastery in order to recompense the dirt that they have carried away on their feet during the rest of the year. The sand is then sculpted into Stupa-shaped piles and decorated with colorful flags.

Today, Lidy and I went to one of the largest markets in Bangkok Chatuchak Weekend Market at Mo Chit (Yeah, I know. You go figure how to pronounce it. Lidy is having all sorts of trouble.) While there, we got an occasional spray of water from bunches of children (some in their late fifty's), so Russell decided to arm himself and retaliate.


He bought himself the largest Water Cannon available in the market and filled it to the brim. I think it was at around that time WWIII broke out. Russell dodging between shoppers to sneak off pot-shots at all and sundry, or hiding his Water Cannon behind his back to sneak up on some unsuspecting individual and then to administer a thorough drenching.


Around this time is when groups of irate shopkeepers who had had their goods drenched, formed vigilante groups and armed themselves with buckets of iced water before going in search of Russell.

It was, of course difficult for Russell to hide among the crowd as most Thai people are less than five feet tall and Russell stands at (to them) a massive six feet++.


Well, pretty soon it was on for young and old with water raining down all around us. Of course, with the temperature of over 35 degrees, being wet through certainly had its advantages.

After running out of water in the Water Cannon, Russell decided to buy a second weapon, a pistol this time for close combat.


Given that the actual Songkran festival doesn't kick off until tomorrow, we didn't do too bad a job in pre-empting it.

One strange happening: Lidy went to the police booth to ask directions, and Russell dripped along after her armed to the teeth with water guns. At the police booth, Russell was warned that firing water in Thailand is illegal and can lead to a prison sentence. Russell, still dripping water on the floor of the police booth promptly hid his Water Cannon and Water Pistol behind his back and claimed that he didn't understand English. This caused some confusion, especially when Russell left and threatened the Seargeant with a good soaking. Thankfully, Lidy grabbed the Water Cannon and pushed Russell along in front of her leaving the befuddled police officers looking on in amazement.

One problem we had was getting back to the hotel soaking wet. Taxis were reluctant to let us ride and after some negotiation, we eventually found a Tuk Tuk driver who was happy to take us home (for a fee).

A couple of drenched passengers in the Tuk Tuk

Elvis has left Chiang-Mai... Now appearing in Bangkok (Near the toilets)

Elvis appears in Bangkok

We thought we had left Elvis in Chiang-Mai. Imagine our surprise when we ran into him at Chatuchak Weekend Market.

He seemed a little the worse for wear and it appears he is also down on his luck. He now performs in front of the toilet block at the market.

Elvis belts out another golden oldie

Unless in communicating with it one says exactly what one means, trouble is bound to result. - Alan Turing, about computers

Baiyoke Suite Hotel Internet Service (or Systech OFF-line Limited)

We were completely let down and disappointed by the level of service in regard to the EXPENSIVE and UNRELIABLE Internet service provided by the Baiyoke Suite Hotel for the use of it's guests.

This service, promoted by the hotel and costing 600 Baht a day ($AU25.00) is the most expensive Internet service we had come across during our travels in Thailand. But this service (if you would call it that) is not actually provided by the hotel as such, they contract the provision of the service out to an outfit by the name of Systech On-line Limited.

During our week long stay at the Baiyoke Suite hotel, we had many memorable moments. The hotel itself is a great place to stay and the staff are friendly and just can't do enough to make things "just-so". In fact, we highly recommend it as a base in Bangkok because of it's atmosphere and proximity to just about anything you might want or want to see. Of course, we wanted to share our experiences with our friends and family and for that, we required access to the Internet.

BUT THE INTERNET SERVICE IS THE LOUSIEST AND MOST EXPENSIVE WE HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN ALL OUR TRAVELS.

Baiyoke Suite Hotel - Don't expect reliable Internet!

I don't know Systech On-line Limited from Adam. But I do know something about computers and communications. I am a graduate of Chisholm/Monash University and hold a Graduate Diploma in Digital Communications from that Institute. I also have a background in communications and computer systems (no, not just PC's, but Mini-computers and Mainframe computers) going back more than 35 years. I consider myself to be an expert and have spent many years of my working life consulting, designing and implementing communications systems for organisations such as: Victorian Department of Premier and Cabinet, Victoria Police, Owens-Illinois, Coles-Myer, BHP, etc.

My professional assessment of the technical ability of Systech On-line Limited, having dealt with their "technical" representatives is, to put it simply, POOR. They have very little (if any) knowledge of the Internet and its workings and appear to be mostly implementing 'out of box' solutions based on MS Windows of which they have no capacity to understand the inner technical workings.

From what I know from my dealings with them, I wouldn't trust them to install a piece of unterminated co-axial cable, must less an Internet service.

So it was that Lidy and I came to post on this 'blog and became immediately frustrated by the service level of the hotel Internet. It was plagued by outages. If not the service itself, then it was the Name Service or the DHCP server. When it did work, although we were promised a 1Mbps service, what was delivered was at best 30Kbps and often much less!

Complaining to the hotel resulted in them sending a hapless young man to our room to swap the WiFi AP. Other than that, he knew nothing of how the service was delivered. At one point of frustration, I rang reception and demanded to speak to Systech On-line. They eventually called back to my room to tell me that they could 'see' my pc. Yes, I agreed, but the Name Server has disappeared!

NEVER, in my whole working life have I EVER seen a more slipshod implementation of an Internet service.

Of course, it probably didn't help that my OS of choice is LINUX. Whenever I got to talk with Systech On-line Limited staff, one of the first statements was always: "So, you are using Linux?... Can you install Windows instead please?" If you don't know what an apoplectic fit is, you should have been there then.

Oh, and did I receive a refund on the charges levied for the Internet that didn't work? You bet I didn't. "I'm sorry sir, that is for Systech to determine."

The fountains mingle with the river, And the rivers with the ocean; The winds of heaven mix forever, With a sweet emotion. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

The Bridge on the River Kwai

We couldn't visit Bangkok and not pay a visit to the Burma Death Railway and the notorious Bridge over the River Kwai.

Once more in our limousine - this time headed for Kanchanaburi

Fascinating, nostalgic and memorable sums up our visit to Kanchanaburi, approximately 130 kilometres west of Bangkok. The province itself is an agricultural area with sugar cane, rice paddies and pineapple plantations all forming significant portions of the stunning Thai rural landscape.

It's a long trip from Bangkok

Following the fall of Singapore in 1942, 60,000 POWs were marched north to the River Kwai. The Japanese wanted to build a railway to reach Burma. Their experts told them it would take 3 years, but the Japanese were going to use slave labour and do it in 16 months. Over 100,000 POW's died of malnutrition, disease and sadistic abuse in the most terrible conditions.

The infamous bridge and the beginning of the 'Death Railway', which lies 5 kilometres outside the town of Kanchanaburi, is a poignant reminder of the thousands of POW's and forced laborers who lost their lives in the building of the bridge.

The sign to the cemetery is almost lost in a cacophony of visual pollution

Thousands of POW's and laborers died in the process. We visited the Allied War Grave cemetery at Chungkai and spent some time walking through the rows of graves of young Australian and Dutch servicemen who had perished at the hands of their brutal Japanese captors. The town contains two cemeteries to the dead, which number over 100,000.

Chungkai was created by the Army Graves Service who transferred to it all graves along the southern section of railway, from Bangkok to Nieke. Some 300 men who died during an epidemic at Nieke camp were cremated and their ashes now lie in two graves in the cemetery. The names of these men are inscribed on panels in the shelter pavilion. There are now 5,084 Commonwealth casualties of the Second World War buried or commemorated in this cemetery. There are also 1,896 Dutch war graves.


The entrance to the cemetery contains many plaques and dedications to the fallen servicemen who were so callously and brutally slaughtered by the Japanese military.



Kanchanaburi War Cemetery is only a short distance from the site of the former 'Kanburi', the prisoner of war base camp through which most of the prisoners passed on their way to other camps.

Some signs are in Thai, English and Dutch

The Kanchanaburi war cemetery is the original burial ground started by the prisoners themselves, and the burials are mostly of men who died at the hospital.

It was a poignant touch that several small Australian flags adorned some of the graves

A walk through any war cemetery is an emotional experience and one can often be moved close to tears. While walking through the cemetery, Lidy came across a grave bearing a family name. Although not sure if there is a connection, she will take it up with family members on our return to Australia.

Lidy found the grave of a Dutch soldier who may be a distant relative

Before leaving Katchanaburi, we had to visit the JEATH war museum, which houses pictures, memorabilia and paintings from this period. JEATH stands for Japan, England, Australia, Thailand and Holland - the five nations whose servicemen lived and died on the 'Death Railway'.

The museum itself is on the banks of the river Kwai, consisting of a war memorial based around a bodhi tree and a replica of one of the huts. Inside are photos harking back to that era. It really brought the horrors home to us. There were pictures of Japanese soldiers standing beside the bridge, newspaper cuttings of those who were liberated, and a map showing the forty or more camps that were strung along the River Kwai.

More harrowing were the portraits: the British prisoner, Jack Walker, managed to make etchings on pieces of smuggled paper of what he had witnessed. These were elaborated when he was released and now hang in the museum. They are not for the faint of heart. There are pictures of cadaverous men with skin afflictions and diseases being herded through the thick jungle, hollow eyed prisoners being beaten, and those in the cholera tent being laid out to die. But the worse were the tortures inflicted by the Japanese guards including crucifixions with barbed wire. This was shocking stuff and we emerged from the museum quite moved and looking at Katchanaburi in a different light.

The JEATH war museum

From the JEATH war museum it is only a short 5 kilometre drive to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

I saw the rails first, then I was struck by the thought that these rails had actually carried so many thousands of allied servicemen to their deaths. I couldn't help but make the comparison with the pictures I had seen of the rails leading into the Auschwitz Death Camp.

Rails leading to The Bridge on the River Kwai

And there it was. There were originally two bridges, both built by prisoners of war - A wooden bridge was completed in February 1943, superseded a few months later by the steel bridge which you see today. The steel bridge spans were brought from Java by the Japanese, and are all original apart from the two straight-sided spans which were installed after the war to replace spans destroyed by allied bombing in 1945.

The Bridge on the River Kwai

The bridge itself is a major tourist attraction for the area and a whole township has sprung up to service the thousands of tourists who visit it each day. The RSL has built a resort hotel nearby to cater for Australian tourists and there are many other hotels, including a floating hotel built of rafts which is permanently moored nearby.

Tourists take over The Bridge on the River Kwai

The metal spans whose construction cost so dearly in lives

Today, a peaceful river flows beneath the bridge. Highly appropriate

There is a small technical problem with The Bridge on the River Kwai: It doesn't actually cross the River Kwai..! Pierre Boulle, who wrote the original book, had never been there. He knew that the 'Death Railway' ran parallel to the River Kwae for many miles, and assumed that it was the Kwae which it crossed just North of Kanchanaburi. He was wrong - It actually crosses the Mae Khlung.

When David Lean's blockbuster movie was released, the Thais faced something of a problem. Thousands of tourists came flocking to see the bridge over the River Kwae, and they hadn't actually got one... All they had was a bridge over the Mae Khlung. So, with admirable lateral Thai thinking, they renamed the river. The Mae Khlung is now the Kwae Yai ('Big Kwae') for several miles north of the confluence with the Kwae Noi ('Little Kwae'), including the bit under the bridge.

FOOTNOTE: We were told by our guide that "Kwai" is a misnomer. In Thai, "kwae" translates as "river", therefore the river Kwai actually translates as "river River".

It has been said that art is a tryst, for in the joy of it, maker and beholder meet. - Kojiro Tomita

The woodcarvers

Russell had expressed a wish to see some genuine Thai woodcarvings. Little did he know what he was in for when we visited the woodcarvers.

The artisan at work

Each woodcarving is an individual creation which, depending on its complexity, can take many hours - or weeks - to complete.

Cutting fine detail requires good eyesight and fine motor control

The woodcarvers are artisans, who have been apprenticed since childhood. To watch them work is a privilege which serves to make one realise just how inadequate one's own feeble attempts at artistic endeavour are.

Lidy was allowed to try her hand

Lidy was allowed to do some of the detailed work on the side of a bureau - the side that goes up against the wall.

"Not bad" was the verdict - from Lidy and the artist

There are perhaps forty woodcarvers here and they carve reliefs into anything from small artifacts to doors and entire wall panels.

The artist finds a comfortable sitting position

The detail in the work is astonishing and there is not one machine in sight. It is all hand carved by the use of small tools and the skill of the artisan.


Beautiful representations of Thai myths and history are carved into panels which will adorn some fortunate individual's wall

Even the mulch on the forest floor is hand carved in exquisite detail

No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man. - Heraclitus of Ephesus (535-475BC)

Floating Markets

It all started so early! It was over 100 km to the Floating Markets and our guide had arranged for an early pickup. So early that Lidy and I were the only partakers of breakfast in the rooftop dining room. All other residents of the hotel were still (wisely) in the land of nod!

Can I have another coffee... Please?

Soon, our car arrived and we were on our way. We settled back to enjoy the ride through Bangkok's notorious early morning traffic. Eventually we found ourselves on highway 35, traveling against the flow of the hoards of commuters.

The road to nowhere

Lidy was enjoying the ride. This was to be her first trip outside of Bangkok and she was eager to see the countryside. Not only that, but we were going in style. We had our own private guide, our own private driver and were being chauffeured in a BENZ! Princess style! Wot!

I always believed I should be treated like this

Further out, into the countryside, we went and left the remains of the city behind us. As we traveled further, the sun rose higher and the heat of the day increased. Of course, as you would expect our 'Benz had excellent airconditioning.

Another road, another white line, Where are we?

Quicker than we could get our cameras out of our bags, we were there. So were three coaches full of tourists. Our private guide had planned ahead. At the landing stage, three boatmen cordoned off the tourists and shouted "Not your boat, not your boat..." at them while beckoning us to the boat at the front of the queue of longtailed boats. The tourists looked on, and a few snapped photo's of the two important dignitaries who had just arrived by 'Benz and were being conducted to the front of the queue so, as nonchalantly as we could, we walked slowly, trying to looking understatedly important and boarded the first craft.

Boarding these things isn't all that easy

Our boatman started the engine and began to maneuver the craft away from the confusion of boats and into clear water. Once there, he gave it 'the gun' and to the excitement of Lidy, as we pulled away, we started to aquaplane.

Our boatman gave it "the gun" and we were off!

There seemed to be many canals that we traveled through and some of them were just wide enough to allow two longtailed boats to pass - just.

The canals are so narrow you wonder if two boats could fit side by side

These canals wind out through the countryside and as we shot past, we could see many aspects of day to day life being played out before our eyes.

Past the white Buddha

At every opportunity, our boatman would wind the big V8 motor up and we would take off. Lidy would get so excited she would let out a loud "Whooooop!!!" The enjoyment was written all over her face.

Lidy just loves it when we go FAST!

The 'taxi-bikes' can travel along the narrow wooden jetties that serve as a footpath and road outside the canal people's homes.

Taxi bike plying his trade along the narrow jettys

At long last, we started to notice some floating stalls and shops. At this time our boatman shut the big V8 down to a burbling idle and we crept forward so as not to scuttle the vendors with our wash.

Coming into the market area

Then it was around the next bend and all of a sudden we were in the thick of the floating market. Because we had left so early and had the first and fastest boat, we were among the first to arrive and the scene that greeted us was relaxed and friendly with most of the shoppers being local Thais essentially shopping for food.

The floating market early morning

Getting out of our craft, we tipped the boatman and set out to regain our land legs. Our private guide said his farewalls for the time being: "You can shop and walk around for two hours. I will drink coffee at the coffee shop." Lidy had already switched to shopping mode and disappeared into the nearest clothing store. Russell was looking for a Thai Saw U that he was determined to bring back and learn how to play.

Confusion reigns as the landlubbers breakfast before starting their day

Lidy found the toilets and was confronted by a cheerful woman who would sell her two tissues of toilet paper for about fifteen cents Australian.

Peace - and will that be two tissues with your toilet?

Then the tourists arrived. All of a sudden it was congestion and chaos. Hand paddled boats jockeyed for position with motorised longboats, the stall holders called out their wares in a peculiar mixture of Thai and broken English and the whole market erupted into a cacophony of sight and sounds.

Oh no. The bloody tourists have arrived

At the other end of the market, Russell had decided to hire his own boat and was busy negotiating a fair price.

No, that's too much. How about dropping 5 Baht?

The price negotiated, Russell and Lidy set off in search of the Saw U. Unfortunately, the boat Russell had hired was facing the opposite direction to where he had been told the Saw U seller was located. This necessitated us taking a precarious trip past the hoards of bartering, frenzied tourists until we got to some clear water where the boat could be turned around.

I should always be treated like this...

At each stall, the boatman would paddle us in close so that the stall holder could harangue us with her spiel in Thai and broken English.

The stall holders sit cross-legged on their small craft for hours at a time

On the way back through the thronging mass of tourists, we got stuck in a traffic jam. Nothing moved until the tourists in the boat five ahead of us had purchased some artifact or other.

"Ram them, Mr Maryk..."

Not satisfied with progress, Russell assumed the captaincy. "Pull to port..." "Come around ten degrees, port..." "Steady as she goes..." "Ahoy there: Turn to Starboard, this vessel has right-of-way!"

The market hots-up into a buying frenzy

Eventually, we arrived at the Saw U stall and Russell started the negotiations. The bartering went on for fifteen minutes. At one stage, Russell exclaimed: "Your price is too high. You must come down or I will buy elsewhere..." The vendor retorted: "I have only Saw U stall in whole market!" Russell looked at our boatman. He nodded with a wry smile and shrugged at Russell.

"I have only Saw U in whole market!

The negotiations continued in a mixture of broken Thai and broken English with, at one stage Russell and the vendor exchanging a piece of paper with the negotiated figures written on it so as to overcome the language barrier. Thankfully, they came to a price they could both agree upon and to the excitement of both Lidy and our boatman, the deal was concluded.

Got it!

A a quick tune-up and a final test tune and Russell has his instrument. Now, only one potential problem remains. Can Russell get it past Australia's strict quarantine laws?

And this is how you tune it...