Friday, March 28, 2008

Everyone likes flattery; and when you come to Royalty you should lay it on with a trowel - Benjamin Disraeli

Lidy spotted it first at 0400 HRS. She couldn't sleep, so was looking out of the hotel window and suddenly said to me (fast asleep): "Russell, quick, look down there. There is an army of cleaners sweeping the streets."

I had of course awoken to this Lidy-ism, and dutifully dragged myself out of bed and over to the darkened window. Looking out, I said: "Yes, they're cleaning the streets. I'm going back to bed."


But they weren't doing it yesterday." she protested. "No," I said, "It's probably the monthly street cleaning. Goodnight."

In due course, I awoke from my disturbed sleep, showered and shaved and, looking forward to another almighty breakfast, boarded the lift to descend to the dining room.

The dining room appeared more crowded than usual and Lidy pointed out the many Thai Army Officers breakfasting this morning. There were a lot. In fact the dining hall contained enough army personnel to start and finish WW III.



It was then I twigged something was up. It wasn't just the army's presence, but the security personnel manning the lifts and doors, police everywhere and a red carpet being attached to the marble floor. At first, I thought it was a gracious gesture from the Thai government to acknowledge our presence and how our prolific spending had helped the Thai economy. I decided to go and thank the hotel manager and tell him he really didn't need to go to all that trouble when a couple of Singha beers would do.

He looked shocked and, while bowing deeply from the waist, told me: "Regretfully, the decorations are not in honour of yourself, but in honour of a Royal visit by HRH Princess Ubolratana Rajakanyathe of Thailand."

Well, a Royal visit eh? Lidy asked one of the security people for the time of the visit and we were told 1600 HRS. We decided to load our camera batteries and so, following some sightseeing and luncheon and, with cameras at the ready, we joined the throng of Thai people waiting patiently for HRH's scheduled arrival at 1600 HRS. 1600 HRS came and went, so we went to ask the chap who had given us the first arrival time and he said HRH was delayed in Bangkok but had boarded the 'plane, was on her way and should be at the hotel by 1800 HRS. It is a big deal when a member of the Thai Royal family visits, drawing a large contingent of army, police, security agencies together. In fact I wager there were more security and uniformed personnel in the hotel than there were guests and hotel staff. A thirty piece brass band had arrived and was tuning up and I took some location shots.


The red carpet had been fixed to the floor and had been covered with canvas so our mortal feet would not soil it prior to HRH stepping onto it. The hotel entrance had been sealed off, leading to some humerous moments when a couple of busloads of tourists rolled up to enter the hotel, with security shepherding them hurriedly through the front doors and along the canvas covered carpet to the reception area.


One lift had been commandeered for HRH's use and had been refurbished during the day with new carpet, bunting and flowers. It was guarded by security and the remaining lifts groaned under the weight of the extra traffic.


Finally, the moment arrived. The lobby was crowded with Thais, Lidy had positioned herself strategically against a column so she could see above the throng (not difficult for a westerner, as Thai's are of a smaller stature). I had taken up a position outside the lobby so I could see HRH arrive. This in itself caused a minor security stir as it appeared I was the only member of the public outside the lobby. One of the security people came over to what appeared to be a rather large Military Police type with shiny helmet and even shinier shoes and the MP then slowly shuffled to be between me and where HRH would alight her car.

About five minutes before HRH arrived, another security person sidled up to me and in the politest way said: "Sir, you may not take photographs of HRH The Princess." "Wot!" I said, "I can take photographs of the Queen of Australia, what is the problem?" "I'm sorry Sir, it is a security risk. No cameras are allowed."

Can you see Lidy against the pillar on the left?

Bugger! after waiting around for two hours, We couldn't even take a photo.

Suddenly a Highway Patrol car screeched into the front of the hotel, red lights flashing and headlights blinking and disgourged a military officer which caused all and sundry waiting on the hotel portal to bow and 'wai'. I assume he had flown in with the Princess and had been rushed from the airport to get to the hotel to ensure all was well before HRH arrived. About five minutes later, the band started up and another police car with flashing red lights arrived and then within another minute or so, HRH's motorcade arrived. She got out of the car and spent a minute with the officials waiting on the hotel portal. My MP moved closer to me and I got the hint and went inside with Lidy. My MP followed and stood nearby.

Suddenly, people were walking quite quickly into the hotel and I tried to pick out the Princess. She could have walked straight past me as she was dressed in black as were (I assume) her ladies-in-waiting. I identified the Princess because as she walked past, the crowd of Thais who had been waiting bowed so deeply their foreheads nearly hit the floor.

And then, just as suddenly, she was gone. Not a wave or a smile, simply a quick twenty steps and into the lift. That was all. No photo's, save this one from her website:

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always. - Dante Alighieri

ANNIVERSARY - 32 JAREN GETROUWD

The day started off with a lingering breakfast, and after that, a visit by Lidy to her beauty parlour. Russell was not allowed to stray too far from the beauty parlour, so for the time Lidy spent having herself made beautiful, Russell discovered 'IT City', just a mere fifty metres or so along the mall.


When Lidy had finished and had been transformed into Thai-Lidy, we had lunch and returned to our room. To our surprise, our room had been transformed into a flower garden. There were flowers everywhere (yes, even in the toilet), rose petals on the bed and a bowl of fruit (many of which we had not seen, much less eaten before)

Hotel staff surprised us on our wedding anniversary with rose petals strewn on the bed


The anniversary fruit

That night, Russell had prepared a special anniversary dinner for Lidy. They were to go to the leading French restaurant in Thailand, Le Crystal. The Le Crystal restaurant is where the Royal family of Thailand dine when in Chiang-Mai and is scenically located on the banks of the beautiful Mai Ping river.

The Le Crystal restaurant viewed from the gardens by the river Mai Ping

This is the restaurant were The Royal Family have dined when in Chang Mai. It is definately five star quality fine dining nestled, incongruously in amongst houses. While very expensive, it is well worth the expense as it is a dining experience not to be had in many other places in the world.


The Le Crystal Trio - Great dinner music!


Toast: Number 32


Mmmmmm. Dessert!


Russell - force feeding himself - Cheese and fruit (Yummmmm)


Flowers for Lidy over coffee

And then, all too soon, it was over. What a wonderful night we had. I know the experience will live with us in our memories for many years to come and will be an event that will be very difficult to beat in the future.

Oh, and did I mention how unobtrusive the wait staff were? So much so, we omitted to take their photograph.

If there is light in the soul, There will be beauty in the person. - Chinese Proverb

THE TATTOOED LADY!

Lidy found a Beauty Salon and; having decided she liked the look of it and; the girls could speak passable English, booked herself in for a treatment (the treatment.)

At first glance the menu looked all gobble-de-gook.


Luckily, nearby Lidy found a menu in English.


Thai Menu

Unfortunately for Lidy, the hairdressers and beautician were working off a different menu. They could only speak a little (two or three words) English and could only read Thai. (The astute among you will have noticed there is no correlation between the two menus regarding prices. God only knows what relationship there is between the two languages!

Lidy settles in for what she thinks is going to be a facial and eyebrow tint.


Lidy's face is prepared for the treatment


The beautician holds Lidy down so the treatment can begin


Lidy's eyebrows are shaved in preparation for the...

TATTOO!


Lidy now has beautifully tattooed eyebrows Thai style and, will forevermore be known as...

Thai-Lidy

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

And thou shalt have goats' milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and for the maintenance for thy maidens - Book of Proverbs


Noooooooooooooooooo, was the cry as I was dragged kicking and screaming to the 'taxi-bus'. Lidy had decided to attend a "Thai Cooking School" and I was to accompany her.

Now as a man of few culinary skills (save the eating of the fruits), I was afraid that should I actually learn something I would be press-ganged into servitude for ever more in the kitchen.


The wild 'taxi-bus' ride through the streets of Chiang-Mai, picking up other participants (a couple of cute Swedish girls who thought it was a smorgasbord school) delivered us (thankfully in one piece) to the main marketplace - Not a sight nor a smell that should be beholden by sensitive western eyes or noses.


It turned out that because it is mid-week, there are only four participants in the Cooking School and as a group we were warned by the guide that many 'foreigners' had been sick when visiting the markets and he advised that should we feel poorly, we should step out into the "fresh air". I tried to step out into the "fresh air" just to give my nose a break, but the smells of the market prevailed for more than fifty metres. I didn't want to lose contact with the group, so returned before discovering the extent.


A tour of the markets followed with an informative description of the herbs and vegetables used in Thai cooking (after each one the guide would invariably say something like: "...this herb, you will not have in your country; so use ketchup instead...")

After the market tour, we again boarded the 'taxi-bus' (four 'foreigners' in the back with only a canvas cover, guide in the front cab with airconditioning.) We took off at a great pace for the Cooking School which we now learned was some twenty minutes out of the city in the countryside.



Down winding alleyways, through three laned streets (carrying six lanes of traffic - white lines are optional in Chiang-Mai as are double lines!) Then, suddenly onto the main highway and at a great pace with the wind blowing in our hair until we turned off into a country lane. Along the dirt road (with much dust in the back for the 'foreigners') around some corners and into an up-market housing estate. We stopped in front of a house with a Cooking School classroom built onto the front. Very well done, and professional looking. Clean to a fault!

School room

We went inside and discovered our classroom where there were twenty five stoves integrated into twenty five stainless steel workstations. I started to feel good about this.

Then, on with the cooking. We each prepared and cooked:
  • Tom-Yum-Goong Soup
  • Pandang Curry
  • Stir Fry with egg
  • Sticky Rice pudding with Mango
School is in

The Master

The Apprentice

After completing the cooking, we were forced to eat what we had cooked. Surprisingly, it tasted like genuine Thai fare.


At the end of the class, the head chef who conducted the course, declared Lidy to be "Best Student" and Russell was declared "Master Chef". For those of you in the know, that now makes me both a "Master Chef" AND a Barrista! WATCH OUT!!!!

Elvis has left the building (but only until he comes back)

I hinted at this story a couple of days ago...

It is best recalled through the haze that accompanies one (or two) too many Singha beers (wonderful,wonderful, wonderful Thai beer...)

I had entered the lobby of our hotel and was greeted by strains of music that seemed to strike a familiar note. Yes, it was "Only the Lonely"... A fine old Elvis song, and being belted out as only "The King" could do. It must be a CD, I thought, walking toward the bar.

Suddenly, my eyes caught sight of the band and; headlining it, none other than "The King" himself!!!


Then followed a selection of old favourites: Blue Suede Shoes, Don't be Cruel, Hound dog, It's Now or Never, Are you Lonesome Tonight, and many more.

I was spellbound, so I ordered a Mia Tai and settled in to the clapping, cheering audience and general ambiance.

I had not noticed at the time but, during the break, Roy Orbison emerged from behind the drums (yes, he can drum now!) Roy sang Crying and Pretty Woman to bring the audience to their knees.

I tried to speak to Elvis and Roy, but it would appear they can only sing in English, not speak it; so I was content to buy them and their band a round of Singha's...

Never trust a taxi driver who doesn't speak English!

Have you ever taken a taxi where you thought when getting in: "I'm not sure about this?"

Such began our afternoon. We were trying to get to Wawee Coffee House where they have unlimited Internet. So there we were loaded with two computers, bags and accessories. I was to organise the taxi so I thought: Easy, follow Russell and ask: "Do you speak English?" When the taxi driver's offsider ansered for him, I should have known. That is when we should have walked away. But no.

We told him we wanted to go to Wawee Coffee in "Walking Street" and also many location hints such as: "Three Kings Monument", "Walking Street", to no avail. He kept saying: "Noooooo, Working Steat only Suhday. No Working Steat Today; You go to nice Thai Massartch, very goot, nice ladies..." Much banter along the way he couldn't understand anyway.

I'm sure we went around the city two times, so when he eventually delivered us at the right spot we gave him a round of applause. We thought we would never get there.....

I've found that all the Thai men are charming and as I left the cab he told me he was also a tailor and handed me his card. A very smart cabbie after all.

Needless to say, we arrived at Wawee in time for this blogging session.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Night Bizarre

EVERY NIGHT IS BIZARRE AT THE BAZAAR!

Anyone who has ever been to a bazaar knows just how chaotic it can be. However, Chiang-Mai's Night Bazaar deserves special mention for the advanced hevel of chaos, crazy traffic, insane stall-holders, small alleyways, great bargains, even greater rip-offs, fantastic food, cheap beer and... THE HMONG (pronounced Hmong). If you thought Queensland has a problem with Cane Toads, you have not been introduced to the Hmong - but more of that later. First, some location shots:

Thai dancers at the Kalare Night Bazaar (A hotel in the middle of the Night Bazaar)


Wandering through the Night Bazaar


Lidy is still 'shopping'. She might even buy something one day.


You can buy almost anything - Even 'genuine' Rolex watches


Uh oh, Lidy is accosted by a Hmong tribes woman

The Hmong are a Hill Tribe who live North of Chiang-Mai in the hills of Thailand. They seem to exist by manufacturing a unique range of Hill Tribe clothing, souvenirs and... bloody wooden frogs that they 'play' as they wander around the bazaar looking for westerners as targets to sell their bloody frogs to. Lidy tried to talk to a Hmong woman on the first day we went to the Night Bazaar and suddenly, she was surrounded by Hmong, all 'playing' their frogs and trying to sell her small sized clothes (the Hmong are small in stature). From that time, every time Lidy goes to the Night Bazaar, the Hmong target her.

Word gets around the Hmong quickly. Lidy is at the bazaar.

Russell had had enough and decided to play the Hmong at their own game. He bought a Hmong hat and a bloody frog and followed the Hmong around the Night Bazaar playing his frog at them. You can see in the photo below that the strategy is working. The Hmong woman in the foreground can't wait to get away, while her friend joins Russell in a duet played on the bass and contralto frogs (CD out shortly.)

Russell gives the Hmong a taste of their own medicine and plays a duet


Russell freshens up with a Mai-Tai in Chiang-Mai at the Night Bazaar

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance - Confucius

Day 2: The Wat, What? Wot!

We decided on the tour of the Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep Rajvoravihara. This is the pre-eminent Buddhist Temple in Chiang-Mai. Perched high on the secret peak of Doi Suthep, the temple is a grand example of traditional Thai architecture. According to legend, holy relics discovered by a holy monk were given to the reigning King Kuena (1355-1385). The king gave one relic to the main temple in Chiang-Mai and placed the other relic in a howdah on the back of a sacred white elephant, which carried it to the area where Wat Phrathat now stands. On reaching this area, the elephant dropped dead beneath a sacred Boda tree due to fatigue from the long journey. The King knew this to be sacred ground and built the first temple there. The present complex dates from the sixteenth century and has been expanded several times over the years. There are three hundred and six steps, bordered by a Naga balustrade, which leads up to the temple which has beautifully decorated buildings and a Lanna-style Chedi covered with engraved gold plates, flanked by four ornamental umbrellas.


Russell tests the gong - hmmm, softer than the gong in MAN buses!

The statue of the Venerable Monk Kruba Srivichai who was responsible for building the road to the Wat

The Golden Pagoda

Lidy with her "sleeping Buddha"

Russell with his meditating Buddha

Russell sets the birds free...

Lidy endures the hard sell

Thai restaurant for luncheon - Lidy and Nonny

Silk worms at the silk factory

Silk cocoons
Boiling the cocoons to extract the silk

Weaving by hand, Thai style

Lidy enduring the double hard sell...

Walking Street

Later that evening, we went to "Walking Street". An area of Chiang-Mai that is closed on Sundays for the purpose of holding a five kilometre long bazaar.

As is usual: Russell, head and shoulders above the crowd.

Lidy enduring the hard sell... Again!

No, I can't take it any longer: I must buy it all!

The best coffee on "Walking Street"!!!