And thou shalt have goats' milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and for the maintenance for thy maidens - Book of Proverbs

Noooooooooooooooooo, was the cry as I was dragged kicking and screaming to the 'taxi-bus'. Lidy had decided to attend a "Thai Cooking School" and I was to accompany her.

Now as a man of few culinary skills (save the eating of the fruits), I was afraid that should I actually learn something I would be press-ganged into servitude for ever more in the kitchen.

The wild 'taxi-bus' ride through the streets of Chiang-Mai, picking up other participants (a couple of cute Swedish girls who thought it was a smorgasbord school) delivered us (thankfully in one piece) to the main marketplace - Not a sight nor a smell that should be beholden by sensitive western eyes or noses.


It turned out that because it is mid-week, there are only four participants in the Cooking School and as a group we were warned by the guide that many 'foreigners' had been sick when visiting the markets and he advised that should we feel poorly, we should step out into the "fresh air". I tried to step out into the "fresh air" just to give my nose a break, but the smells of the market prevailed for more than fifty metres. I didn't want to lose contact with the group, so returned before discovering the extent.


A tour of the markets followed with an informative description of the herbs and vegetables used in Thai cooking (after each one the guide would invariably say something like: "...this herb, you will not have in your country; so use ketchup instead...")

After the market tour, we again boarded the 'taxi-bus' (four 'foreigners' in the back with only a canvas cover, guide in the front cab with airconditioning.) We took off at a great pace for the Cooking School which we now learned was some twenty minutes out of the city in the countryside.


Down winding alleyways, through three laned streets (carrying six lanes of traffic - white lines are optional in Chiang-Mai as are double lines!) Then, suddenly onto the main highway and at a great pace with the wind blowing in our hair until we turned off into a country lane. Along the dirt road (with much dust in the back for the 'foreigners') around some corners and into an up-market housing estate. We stopped in front of a house with a Cooking School classroom built onto the front. Very well done, and professional looking. Clean to a fault!

School room

We went inside and discovered our classroom where there were twenty five stoves integrated into twenty five stainless steel workstations. I started to feel good about this.

Then, on with the cooking. We each prepared and cooked:

• Tom-Yum-Goong Soup
• Pandang Curry
• Stir Fry with egg
• Sticky Rice pudding with Mango

School is in

The Master

The Apprentice

After completing the cooking, we were forced to eat what we had cooked. Surprisingly, it tasted like genuine Thai fare.

At the end of the class, the head chef who conducted the course, declared Lidy to be "Best Student" and Russell was declared "Master Chef". For those of you in the know, that now makes me both a "Master Chef" AND a Barrista! WATCH OUT!!!!

Elvis has left the building (but only until he comes back)

I hinted at this story a couple of days ago...

It is best recalled through the haze that accompanies one (or two) too many Singha beers (wonderful,wonderful, wonderful Thai beer...)

I had entered the lobby of our hotel and was greeted by strains of music that seemed to strike a familiar note. Yes, it was "Only the Lonely"... A fine old Elvis song, and being belted out as only "The King" could do. It must be a CD, I thought, walking toward the bar.

Suddenly, my eyes caught sight of the band and; headlining it, none other than "The King" himself!!!


Then followed a selection of old favourites: Blue Suede Shoes, Don't be Cruel, Hound dog, It's Now or Never, Are you Lonesome Tonight, and many more.

I was spellbound, so I ordered a Mia Tai and settled in to the clapping, cheering audience and general ambiance.

I had not noticed at the time but, during the break, Roy Orbison emerged from behind the drums (yes, he can drum now!) Roy sang Crying and Pretty Woman to bring the audience to their knees.

I tried to speak to Elvis and Roy, but it would appear they can only sing in English, not speak it; so I was content to buy them and their band a round of Singha's...

Never trust a taxi driver who doesn't speak English!

Have you ever taken a taxi where you thought when getting in: "I'm not sure about this?"

Such began our afternoon. We were trying to get to Wawee Coffee House where they have unlimited Internet. So there we were loaded with two computers, bags and accessories. I was to organise the taxi so I thought: Easy, follow Russell and ask: "Do you speak English?" When the taxi driver's offsider ansered for him, I should have known. That is when we should have walked away. But no.

We told him we wanted to go to Wawee Coffee in "Walking Street" and also many location hints such as: "Three Kings Monument", "Walking Street", to no avail. He kept saying: "Noooooo, Working Steat only Suhday. No Working Steat Today; You go to nice Thai Massartch, very goot, nice ladies..." Much banter along the way he couldn't understand anyway.

I'm sure we went around the city two times, so when he eventually delivered us at the right spot we gave him a round of applause. We thought we would never get there.....

I've found that all the Thai men are charming and as I left the cab he told me he was also a tailor and handed me his card. A very smart cabbie after all.

Needless to say, we arrived at Wawee in time for this blogging session.

Night Bizarre

EVERY NIGHT IS BIZARRE AT THE BAZAAR!

Anyone who has ever been to a bazaar knows just how chaotic it can be. However, Chiang-Mai's Night Bazaar deserves special mention for the advanced hevel of chaos, crazy traffic, insane stall-holders, small alleyways, great bargains, even greater rip-offs, fantastic food, cheap beer and... THE HMONG (pronounced Hmong). If you thought Queensland has a problem with Cane Toads, you have not been introduced to the Hmong - but more of that later. First, some location shots:

Thai dancers at the Kalare Night Bazaar (A hotel in the middle of the Night Bazaar)

Wandering through the Night Bazaar


Lidy is still 'shopping'. She might even buy something one day.


You can buy almost anything - Even 'genuine' Rolex watches


Uh oh, Lidy is accosted by a Hmong tribes woman

The Hmong are a Hill Tribe who live North of Chiang-Mai in the hills of Thailand. They seem to exist by manufacturing a unique range of Hill Tribe clothing, souvenirs and... bloody wooden frogs that they 'play' as they wander around the bazaar looking for westerners as targets to sell their bloody frogs to. Lidy tried to talk to a Hmong woman on the first day we went to the Night Bazaar and suddenly, she was surrounded by Hmong, all 'playing' their frogs and trying to sell her small sized clothes (the Hmong are small in stature). From that time, every time Lidy goes to the Night Bazaar, the Hmong target her.

Word gets around the Hmong quickly. Lidy is at the bazaar.

Russell had had enough and decided to play the Hmong at their own game. He bought a Hmong hat and a bloody frog and followed the Hmong around the Night Bazaar playing his frog at them. You can see in the photo below that the strategy is working. The Hmong woman in the foreground can't wait to get away, while her friend joins Russell in a duet played on the bass and contralto frogs (CD out shortly.)

Russell gives the Hmong a taste of their own medicine and plays a duet


Russell freshens up with a Mai-Tai in Chiang-Mai at the Night Bazaar

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance - Confucius

Day 2: The Wat, What? Wot!

We decided on the tour of the Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep Rajvoravihara. This is the pre-eminent Buddhist Temple in Chiang-Mai. Perched high on the secret peak of Doi Suthep, the temple is a grand example of traditional Thai architecture. According to legend, holy relics discovered by a holy monk were given to the reigning King Kuena (1355-1385). The king gave one relic to the main temple in Chiang-Mai and placed the other relic in a howdah on the back of a sacred white elephant, which carried it to the area where Wat Phrathat now stands. On reaching this area, the elephant dropped dead beneath a sacred Boda tree due to fatigue from the long journey. The King knew this to be sacred ground and built the first temple there. The present complex dates from the sixteenth century and has been expanded several times over the years. There are three hundred and six steps, bordered by a Naga balustrade, which leads up to the temple which has beautifully decorated buildings and a Lanna-style Chedi covered with engraved gold plates, flanked by four ornamental umbrellas.

Russell tests the gong - hmmm, softer than the gong in MAN buses!

The statue of the Venerable Monk Kruba Srivichai who was responsible for building the road to the Wat

The Golden Pagoda

Lidy with her "sleeping Buddha"

Russell with his meditating Buddha

Russell sets the birds free...

Lidy endures the hard sell

Thai restaurant for luncheon - Lidy and Nonny

Silk worms at the silk factory

Silk cocoons

Boiling the cocoons to extract the silk

Weaving by hand, Thai style

Lidy enduring the double hard sell...

Walking Street

Later that evening, we went to "Walking Street". An area of Chiang-Mai that is closed on Sundays for the purpose of holding a five kilometre long bazaar.

As is usual: Russell, head and shoulders above the crowd.

Lidy enduring the hard sell... Again!

No, I can't take it any longer: I must buy it all!

The best coffee on "Walking Street"!!!

Alas, mouse cannot cast shadow like elephant - Charlie Chan

MAESA ELEPHANT CAMP

On 24th March, we visited the Maesa Elephant Camp outside Chiang-Mai proper. We have taken so many extraordinary photographs of these wonderful beasts that it has taken nearly a week to decide what to show you and how to talk about the experience.
On entering the camp, we walked down a road lined with the obligatory souvenier shops to the right while on the left, behind a copse of trees was a rapidly flowing river. One's eyes are naturally drawn to the cacophany of spruiking taking place to one's right and in doing so you are likely to miss the elephants and their Mahouts bathing in the morning sunshine.

Elephant bath house

The elephants are treated to a scrub and wash

The elephants and their Mahouts seem to love to roll around in the water, with several elephants staying completely submerged for several minutes.

After their bath, it's time for the Elephant Show which is designed to demonstrate how these magnificent but gentle beasts can be trained to perform many tasks from the brute force of one or more elephants working singly or in teams of two or three; to the trivial, Elephant 'Football'; to the artistic, Elephant 'Painting' and the hilarious, placing a hat on the Mahouts head and patting him on the hat. The mahouts live with and look after the elephants at the Elephant Camp. The purpose is to establish a firm bond between man and beast. At night, the elephants are allowed the freedom to roam the forest in search of food however, they are shackled to ensure they don't roam too far from the camp.

The show begins


Elephant Artistry

The mahout puts the paint on the brush the elephant does the rest, often seeming to take the time to consider where to place the brush, at first, the painting consists of only a few scrawled lines, but over time a truly beautiful picture emerges.

The completed works of art

True elephant art. These paintings sell very quickly. Not cheap either at $70 a throw. The kiosk which had everything from tee shirts to wall hangings for sale was inundated by people wishing to buy Elephant Art.

Elephant dance - Watch out for your toes!

At the end of the show, this elephant came towards me to say hello.

Lidy finds another friend in Thailand

The mahout beckoned me over to sit down. As I sat on the rail, the elephant came over and wrapped his trunk around me in an embrace. He had very hard rough skin but he was cute. He wouldn't let go. The elephant that is.

After the show, it was time to take the elephant tour of the Mahout's camp. We waited in line, only to discover, once at the head of the queue that we were dragged aside while they got a bigger elephant for us. Eventually, the largest elephant was manoeuvred into position, dwarfing the other elephants and, we were allowed to board.

The biggest elephant in the show to carry us both

Let's go that way!

Comfy on top

Oops! Where's the Mahout?!?!

We were taken through the rainforest where the elephants live with the mahouts and their families. At first we thought the accommodation to be rudimentery until we spotted the satellite dish.

Mahout Camp

Flower Power

ORCHID AND BUTTERFLY FARM CHIANG MAI (24-03-2551)

These orchids are the most beautiful flowers kept in hanging baskets with their roots simply dangling down. The orchids are watered twice a week. Fertiliser is delivered by the watering system. There is NO SOIL used! Thailand has about 860 orchid species, 473 of which can be found in and around Chiang Mai province.

Butterflies flitted around, this butterfly sat long enough for me to take a photo.

Lunch is served for the butterflies. Chiang Mai pineapple delicious!